Funny People Answer Their Own Question

150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?"

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Best "How Are You?" Answers

Hi, how are y'all?

It would be easy to answer that question with a unproblematic "I'm fine, thanks." Humans are very circuitous creatures, but we're also creatures of addiction who say one thing when nosotros mean another.

"Fine" is a ho-hum chat-killer. In reality, "How are yous?" could exist more than just a simple question—it could exist an fantabulous mode to start an interesting chat!

If you're the kind of person who's fed upward with the old, so-then, half-hearted replies, then this list is for yous! Just pick whatever of these responses to exhale fresh air into your mundane conversations. Who knows, you might merely be able to lead a chat into a more interesting direction.

What to Say Instead of "Fine"

1. Somewhere betwixt better and best.
2. Improve now that yous asked.
3. Oh finish it, you. (Say it like y'all're receiving a compliment fifty-fifty though you are not. LOL)
4. I love you lot. ( This is a skillful response to fluster and catch them off-guard. )
5. Much better now that yous are here.
6. At minding my own business? Meliorate than well-nigh people.
7. I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat dog.
8. Do you actually care?
9. Armed and ready!
10. My lawyer says I don't take to reply that question.
11. What do you want? (Hahaha. This might across as rude, and so use with caution.)
12. I've been going through some crests and troughs in my life. Is everything stable at your end?
13. Similar you, just better.
14. I could really go for a massage.
15. I'd say I'yard a [insert number hither] out of 10.
16. I was fine until y'all asked.
17. If I were doing whatsoever improve, I'd hire you to enjoy information technology with me.
18. I hear skillful things, merely you lot should never heed to rumors.
19. Like a pit bull in a butcher shop [or whatever other outrageous metaphor].
20. Every bit fine as a maiden's flaxen hair.

Funny Ways to Respond to "How Are Y'all?"

1. Overworked and underpaid.
2. Nothing much. (This one is and so trite that information technology takes a few moments for the humor to sink in.)
3. I don't know, you tell me. How am I right now?
4. Can't complain. Nobody listens anyhow.
5. Good enough. (This one will definitely go along them guessing.)
6. If I were any better, I'd be you.
7. Quite how, thank you. (This makes no sense, but it's funny.)
8. Not so well, does that carp you?
9. Nice and bang-up like cotton wool processed. (Bang-up rhymes with cotton fiber processed!)
10. I tin't mutter! It's confronting the Company Policy.
11. Average. Non terrific, not terrible, just average.
12. If I were any amend, I'd be illegal.
13. Then far, so good!
14. How dare you lot! (If y'all don't have an immediate reply in listen, just say this automatically. LOL)
15. Ameliorate at present that I'm talking to you lot.
16. Well, I haven't had my morning time coffee yet and no 1 has gotten injure, and then I'd say so far, so good.
17. Well... unless the weather has dissimilar plans in shop.
18. Maybe 1 day you'll be lucky plenty to find out.

Funny ways to answer the question "how are you?"

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What to Say Instead of "Fine" or "Proficient"

1. I take no manner of knowing.
2. Yes. (Woah there, it looks like you weren't paying attention.)
3. Living a dream. Please don't wake me up.
4. At least at that place's plenty of room for improvement!
5. I'thou pretty standard correct now.
6. Doing well, unless you lot have intentions of shooting me.
7. Happy and content, thanks.
8. Compared to who?
9. Do I have to answer?
10. Well plenty to chat with you if yous wish to.
11. Going cracking. Promise this condition quo persists for rest of the twenty-four hour period.
12. Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Socioeconomically? Financially? I'm non sure how to answer that!?!
13. Strange, and getting stranger.
14. Not then expert, but I programme on lying at my press conference.
15. If I had a tail, I would wag it.
16. I've heard diverse opinions: What'south yours?
17. How am I. . . what?
18. Thank yous for request, though you can guess for yourself.
19. Why do you ask? Are you a md?
20. Give-and-take on the street is that I'g actually expert.

Witty Responses for "How Are Yous?" Texts

1. I'm ameliorate than I was, only not nearly as good as I'chiliad going to be.
2. I think I'1000 doing OK. How do you lot think I'm doing?
3. I can't mutter, but sometimes I yet do.
4. I am blessed!
5. Way better than I deserve!
6. Shhh. . . information technology'due south too early on to tell.
7. I dunno. Is it Friday yet?
8. I don't feel that great, just my hair looks awesome, right?
9. I have a pulse, so I must be okay.
10. Doing well, unless you have an airborne disease and infect me with some pathogens.
11. I'm doing really well. [Then pause and say] "Of class, that could be my anti-depressant prescription talking."
12. Oh, you know, every day is better than the adjacent.
13. Meliorate than some, not as good as others.
14. My psychiatrist told me not to discuss it with strangers.
15. Medium well. (What are you lot, a steak?)
16. All right so far, but there's still time for everything to go horribly wrong. (Ah, the forever pessimist.)

Surprising Answers to the Same Quondam Boring Question

1. I'g trying actually hard to avoid cryptic questions at the moment.
2. Wondering how you are.
3. How do y'all remember I am?
4. I'll leave that up to your imagination.
5. It's a secret.
6. Do yous want the short or long version?
7. I would be lying if I said I'm fine.
8. I'thousand pretty sure I am non obligated to tell you.
9. I'g set up for a nap. (I'm sure you are.)
10. Surviving, I guess.
11. Non as good as you lot.
12. Holy sh*t, you can see me?! (This never fails in bringing on the chuckles.)
13. In need of some peace and quiet.
14. Under renovation.
15. Remembering to stay patient.
16. I'thousand sober! (Congratulations!)
17. On a calibration from one to punching someone in the face?
18. Dancing to the rhythm of life.
19. Imagining myself having a fabulous holiday.
20. Horrible, now that I've met you lot.
21. Yous practise not want to know.
22. [*just stare*]
23. That is a really wonderful question. Ummm...
24. Happy and you know it. [*handclapping your hands*]
25. Next question, delight.

Clever and Unique Responses to "How Are You?"

1. In order to answer the question, I need to take you back about 10 years. Do you have a moment?
2. Living a life of deprival and suppressed rage.
3. Slowly but surely dying.
4. Fair to partly cloudy.
5. "Hey await over at that place!" [*punch person in the throat*] (Remember kids, exercise non try this at abode.)
6. Groovy!
7. Well, I've got this rash on my left barrel cheek. (Way to make the conversation awkward!)
8. Non bad. Could be amend. Could be payday.
9. Better on the within than I look on the outside.
10. Nifty, stellar, fantastic... just dead inside.
11. Okay, since my name wasn't in today'southward obituaries.
12. Oh terrible, but I'm used to it. (I experience you, friend.)
13. What'south with all the questions? You lot a cop?
14. Every bit opposed to what?
15. Sunshine all day long!
16. You go get-go so we can compare.
17. I'm non certain still.
18. Living the dream... merely half the fourth dimension information technology'due south a nightmare.
19. Non quite in that location yet. (Where is there?)
20. Dangerously shut to fabulous.
21. You're lookin' at it.
22. Real terrible, thanks for asking.
23. I am high-quality.
24. The medico said I'd live.

Ameliorate Answers for "How Are You Doing?"

1. I'grand certain you have that information on your screen.
2. How much volition you pay me if I tell y'all?
3. Living the dream!
4. WHY!? WHAT ARE THEY Saying Near ME? (Hahaha! Manner to act suspicious of everything!)
5. I'm decorated taking over the globe.
6. Dying.
7. Hunting dragons. You?
8. I promised myself I would kill the next person who asked me that question, only I similar you so I will allow you live.
9. Rolling with the punches.
10. [*speaks gibberish*]
11. Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged.
12. Non today, Satan!

Flirty Responses to "How Are You?"

1. Incredibly good looking.
2. Everything is fine with you around.
3. I'd be better if you lot asked me out.
4. Swell, just I'm totally biased.
5. How am... in bed? (Wait, what?!)
6. Getting ameliorate with every passing minute.
7. What an impertinent question to ask a daughter [or guy]!
8. Living a dream. Don't wake me up. You may bring together me. There'southward plenty of room.
9. The all-time I can be. Assuming you're your best, likewise.
10. I am so great I accept to sit on my hands to keep myself from clapping.

Read 100 Flirty Responses to "How Are You?" or "What'south Up?" for more ideas.

How to Reply "How Are Y'all?" When Yous're Not Okay

1. I'grand withal sucking air.
2. I'm completely prepared for the end of the world.
3. They told me y'all would inquire me that.
4. Better than nothing.
5. Well, I'chiliad still alive.
6. Could exist improve... [suspension]... could be worse.
7. Somewhere between blah and meh.
8. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
9. Practice y'all desire an honest answer or the one y'all were expecting?
10. Vertical and breathing.
11. Different day, same beingness.
12. Trying to go on with life, thanks. What most y'all?
13. Trying not to burst into tears. I get an "A" for effort, right?
14. Navigating the twists and turns of life. I promise yours is a straight road.
15. Just hug me and exit it at that.

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Source: https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/Funny-and-Witty-Responses-to-the-Question-How-Are-You

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